Sisters Under the Skin
If I were to visit Iran and pass Simin Behbahani walking on the street, I would not recognize her, she would be covered from head to foot as required by law in her country and I would pass her by without a thought.
And yet, Simin Behbahani is the most iconic Iranian poet alive, a highly intellectual woman, a revolutionist, and one of my favorites. In one of her poems she said “to stay alive, you must slay silence, to pay homage to being, you must sing.” I would definitely have stopped and talk to her if I had known who was behind that veil.
In some Islamic countries women are required to cover their heads; in others, women do it by choice. My home country, Turkey, is a predominantly Islamic but secular republic; none of the women in my family wear a headscarf nor do they associate with women who do. That is why I have always assumed that women who wear them have nothing in common with women who don’t.
But one day, while I was thinking of Simin Behbahani, my opinion started to change.
Although I like to think that I am broad minded, I just can’t seem to accept that many of these women are intelligent, cultured, well read, interesting, and cover themselves voluntarily.
This led me to another thought. I am applying to most competitive US colleges. If I arrive on campus veiled, will I be accepted by my classmates or will the same prejudice apply to me that I show to other women who have chosen to cover; even though there might be much that we can talk about together?
So now I am asking myself: Who is behind the veil? Can we communicate? Can we share ideas, like each other, respect each other’s beliefs?
I would like to come up with a resounding YES to my question but change comes slowly. I am now trying to cross the borders of my mindset and think more widely. As captain of the national basketball team, I play with women of different views but one common goal. Everyone on the team comes from different backgrounds. Some of us are wealthy, some are poor, some are educated, and some are not. The wonderful thing is, we find common ground on the court, where all of us talk the same language. My hope for all Muslim women, whether we choose to cover, have to cover, or do not cover at all, is that over time we too can find common ground to communicate, and in communicating, help resolve differences.
We all make different choices in life. If I saw a woman with her hair covered a few months ago, without any doubt, I would have shrugged her off. However, now I am aware of the fact that the woman behind the veil might be another Simin Behbahani.
